Whole bunch of crap

This is from Bill Simmons latest mailbag. This is just a great burn.

Q: Scoop Jackson says that "Cornbread, Earl and Me" and "The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars" are the greatest sports movies of all time. Where do you rank them?
– Brian Artis, Newport News, Va.

SG: That's like asking me, "Scoop Jackson thinks the world is flat, where do you stand?"

So you think you are your teams biggest fan!?
A friend of mine who has been mentioned here before, you probably know him as KU recently told us this little story. KU was such a big Coug fan back in 8th grade that he lied to his parents about being cut from the basketball team so that he could attend the Apple Cup. Most people wouldn't make that kind of sacrifice for their favorite team in their entire life time...let alone in 8th grade. My hat is off to KU...my hat is off.

A Memorable Quote from Last Weekend
"I usually get five good drinks out of a bottle."
-The Berg

To clarify by bottle he is referring to a fifth of Canadian Mist.

Bracketology
Here in the great northwest the big news this March Madness is that the goddamn Washington Huskies got a #1 seed to the Big Dance. The only thing more ridiculous than that is the fact that two Huskies in the pool I am in have picked the Huskies to win the whole thing. I am sure there will be more Huskies that join the pool and make this same pick. This could be the biggest case of betting with your heart that I have ever seen. But good luck to the guys in the pool...not the Huskies.

From Figure Skater to MIT Physicist - Either Way Still Genius

KU, the same guy who had the quote, "I have great balance, I should be an athlete or a figure skater" blew the shit out of all of our feeble minds with his mathematical proof that is sure to explain the age old question, "what is the meaning of life?" The answer - a surpisingly simple one at that - came to KU moments after he threw out his last $100 chip at the Skagit Casino, putting him at a $978 disadvantage against the local indians for the night. Mind you he was in a wedding that day and was nearly blacked out, still dressed in the rented tux, shiny ass shoes and all.

KU - "Life is pretty much fuc (hiccup) fucking comes down to 2 equations: G= Greed and A, no wait, yeah, A=PW ...... Ambition = Personal Wealth. It's just that simple, G=Greed=Gutter, which is where I am, and A=PW."

Now as you can imagine this therom was cause for reflection....could KU have just figured it all out. I mean, sure, now he is screaming fuck, fuck, fuck, how the fuck could I spend a thousand dollars, and running at a 4.6 40 down the hallway and into the wall, trying to break it or himself, or do something to aleviate the pain that comes hand-in-hand with being obsesive compulsive. But could KU have actually breached the walls of the well-guarded secret? Fuck no, A=PW, that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. Let's all just give KU the benifit of the doubt though, he probably doesn't remember saying that, after all, he did say that he was so pissed that he wanted to either kill himself or "do a Ted DiBiase" (the million dollar man) to the headboard of his hotel bed. Luckily for us, he DiBiased the hotel bed. Apparently KU didn't learn his lesson after the bachelor party for this wedding where he had to buy a broken closet door at the hotel for $300...........canadian! yeah, no shit, the hotel room itself was only $250 US.