"A CHRISTMAS STORY" HOUSE

I am posting this link up here for Hank because the SOB has been talking about the goddamn TBS 24 hour "A Christmas Story" marathon all week. If only he hadn't spent all that loan money on law school he could have himself one hell of a piece of movie memorabilia. Merry Christmas you bastard.

"A CHRISTMAS STORY" HOUSE

F**K YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

For anyone that doesn't know I have been working for brown(UPS) for the last few weeks. Finally after a few weeks of about 200 stops a day and 400 plus packages I am finally done. It feels like I just got done with finals. So I am now going to do what my friends and I always do when it is time to celebrate....punish the liver. So Happy Holidays everyone and Merry Fucking Christmas.

Oh and you are welcome for all those christmas presents that I delivered.

Three days until people won't have an excuse for playing christmas music

Date My Mom
Well I have already written a post about this fine piece of television programming but the episode I saw the other day was comedy of the highest degree. The bachelor on the show was the funniest guy so far. After not choosing the first daughter whose name meant fire in Celtic the daughter stepped out of the limo and it cut to the guy saying "Now I know why her name means fire. Because she is frickin' hot!!!". After choosing the third daughter she stepped out of the limo and it cut to him saying "I am not mad, I am not mad. My dick is mad but I am not mad." Somebody at MTV needs to get this guy some kind of production deal.

Movie Reviews
Here are some more of the reviews I wrote a couple of weeks ago.

The Hustler (1961)
This a classic pool shark movie starring Paul Newman. I wouldn't say the writers of Poolhall Junkies copied this movie but you can see where they got a few ideas. 4 Star

Badder Santa (2003)
Billy Bob is great in this movie. I never saw the orginal Bad Santa so I couldn't really tell what extra material consituted the unrated version. 4 Star

Van Helsing (2004)
This movie was better than I thought it was going to be. There was actually a story line involved not just 90 minutes of monster killing. 4 Star

Random things from the last few days

One of the best t-shirt slogans I have seen in a while.
The liver is evil and must be punished.

That might be my new messenger name.

Car alarms are a motherf**ker.
After I spent two hours today kicking ass at a job interview I stopped at a Shell station close to home but not in the nicest part of town. I was going in to buy a Diet Pepsi and pay for some gas so I set my car alarm which I had noticed had been talking two or three tries to set/unset lately. Well I came out and tried to deactivate the alarm and nothing. Tried twice...three times...ten times and the thing was still set. After calling a friend to go get my spare remote from home as I was closing in on try sixty the SOB finally worked and I was able to get in the car.

Top Gun Special Edition DVD
I saw a commercial for this last week and the first thing I thought of was another kick ass Amazon review from Chad Kultgen. Nobody loves Top Gun or Bud Ice more than Chad and he doesn't disappoint with this reveiw.

HOLY CRANK!! WHERE'S THE SIXTH STAR 'CAUSE FIVE AIN'T ENOUGH

Movie Reviews
Well I said a few weeks ago I was going to start reviewing the movies I have received from Netflix. Well I wrote about 15 reviews 2 weeks ago but I have failed to post a single one so here is the first batch of three.

SNL: The Best of Christopher Walken (2004)
This is one of the funniest SNL Best of's I have seen. A couple "The Continental" sketches, the funniest Hardball sketch I have seen and of course the classic VH1 Blue Oyster Cult Behind the music. Definitely a 5 star.

"I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell!"

Serpico (1973)
Netflix described this movie as one of Pacino's best performances and I would have to agree.
4 Star

Amores Perros (2000)
Although this movie was long coming in at 2h 33m is was still awesome. A movie where you see how the lives of characters in three different story lines affect one another. 5 Star

How many degrees of separation are there between Christopher Walken and Kevin Bacon?

The answer is 2 and if you knew that then I am impressed because I had never heard of Mistress (1992) or Elli Wallach who was the link to Mystic River (2003).

I found this link on the Intern's page of Sports Guy's World. What makes it so kick ass is that you are not limited to just Bacon you can find the links between any actor/actress and any other actor/actress. They even took it one step further and setup a page where you can link any baseball player to another baseball player.

I have wasted enough time writing this post I need to get back to linking celebrities.

Link Kevin Bacon
Link any actor or any actress
Link any baseball player to another baseball player

Giant Cocaine Plants

If the Justice Department had a giant bowl of cereal this is the kind of article that would make it smell like some had just taken a giant shit in said giant bowl of cereal. While Columbian officials have been reporting that smugglers are receiving help from foreign scientists to develop herbicide-resistant coca plant that has 8 times the yield of a normal plant. Meanwhile we have dumped more than 3 billion dollars into crop spraying program that the Columbians are saying has but back the useful coca-growing area by 2/3.

The kicker is that through all this all those wiley drug growing bastards have been doing is spending a little more down at the old farm co-op and dumping extra fertilizer on the ground. By my simple math with 1/3 of the land but 8 times the production you are still coming out with about 2 and 2/3 times the amount of coke.

Fertilizer May Be Root of Big Colombia Coca Plants

Irag Adopts Terror Alert System

The Onion has a great article about the new color coded system that Iraq is implementing so that all citizens will be aware of the threat of a terrorist attack. They report that the current level is yellow-orange which is about two colors above blue described as:

UNSETTLING: Some small weapons fire and scattered roadside bombings; fair chance you will make it to the end of day with all four limbs

Irag Adopts Terror Alert System