Proposed Vocabulary

What the hell do you call those things that knot the hairs on your taint into a fucking cat-spent ball of twine after going for a jog or doing some other athletic activity? You know, those things that you can feel when you're in the shower scrubbing down the undercarriage. You're like, "fuck, I wondered why it felt like someone was pulling on my pubes, but not quite hard enough to rip them out. Oh well........(as you grab onto the twisted mess) one.........two.........THREE. What in the hell did I do to deserve that?"

Well, I think I've heard of those things referred to as dingleballs. That doesn't cut it. The dingleballs I know of are those things that Mexicans in the Yakima and Wenatchee Valleys place around the edge of the ceiling on the insides of their a) pimped out minivans, b) pimped out full sized vans, 3) pimped out trucks, 4) pimped out Camaros, 4) pimped out Monte Carlos, 5) beat up, run down Pontiacs. Sometimes they attach them to the ends of their ponchos in order to get hot latinas.

I propose a new word for this travesty, let the nuisance that is lint and hair twisted into a painful knot on your taint be known from this day forth as a VELOCITY BAG