Haggard Pronounced ‘Completely Heterosexual’....

in only three weeks flat. That has to be some kind of goddamn record.

DENVER (AP) -- One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is ''completely heterosexual.

Does anyone else see something wrong with the above paragraph? Maybe the word convinced? Can someone give me some guidlines on how you convince someone they are heterosexual? I mean is it like a 12 step program?

However my favorite part of the article was this quote.

''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

Apparently when you are a crazy ass Evangelical the definition of 'acting out' is "doing crystal meth and hiring male prostitutes."

Haggard Pronounced ‘Completely Heterosexual’