What Your Drink Says About You

By now, it’s no secret that one of my favorite hobbies, besides collecting Beanie Babies and hunting mimes for sport, is binge drinking. I admit, this is perhaps not the wisest way to drink. Mixing up my beverages so defiantly might make a bold statement about fuck and you, but it’s also a recipe for a killer hangover.

The point is, as a generalist in the liquor arena and a slightly-paranoid social critic, I’ve noticed that the drink you choose, as an accessory, says a lot about you. Sure, there are easy stereotypes about beer-swilling frat boys and martini-sipping debutantes, but the scope of social commentary is as wide as the selection at the nearest bar. So take a trip with me, won’t you, and discover what the drink in your hand says about joy in your heart.

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