More Proof that Richard Branson is a Genius

Branson's Virgin Mobile is going to help customers in Australia by preventing drunken dialing. The service will allow the user to blacklist specific numbers so that they cannot be called until 6am the following morning. According to a survey by the company, over 95 percent of drinkers make phone calls after imbibing, with 30 percent of calls going to the most dreaded of recipients: ex-partners.

Help available for 'drunken dialers'

Date My Mom

I have to admit that I haved watched this show on MTV from beginning to end more than a few times due to my current unemployment status. I have been meaning to write a post about the show but I have had a hard time collecting my thoughts on it. Today I read the Sports Guy's most recent column where he included an email he sent to his buddy the other day and it summed up everything about the show to a T.

Here's what I sent to a buddy in an e-mail yesterday:
"Yo, have you seen 'Date My Mom?' Just when you think MTV can't top themselves, they go ahead and top themselves. A kid takes three different Moms out on a date -- each of them try to sell him on their daughter. The sexual tension is disturbing and palpable. All the Moms say their daughters look like Britney Spears even though some of them look like dudes. Then he has to pick a winner without ever seeing the three daughters. Mesmerizing stuff. When they realize that they passed up the hot daughter for a dog, they all make the same face that ML Carr made when he missed out on Duncan in the '97 Lottery. FANTASTIC TV."

If you haven't seen the show take half hour out of your busy day and check it out. You will not be disappointed.

AMERICA. F**K YEAH

Check out this kick ass flash animation. I think if either presidential campaign had used this instead of their craptastic attack ads they probably would have won in a land slide.

http://www.craptv.com/coop/america.htm

The Greatest Christmas Burn Ever

Alan Aerts I tip my hat to you. I would click on the link below to read the whole story but I will break it down for you real quick.

1. Alan spends $150,000 on a kick ass light display for his house.
2. After last year neighbor complains to city and collects signatures.
3. City makes it a pain in Alan's ass to put up his kick ass display.
4. Alan has a 10 foot motorized Grinch built that points at his neighbors house and says "You'rea mean one mister Grinch!"

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041126/ap_on_re_us/neighborhood_grinch_2

Chad Kultgen badass or the best Amazon reviewer ever?

My friend showed me these product reviews on Amazon.com by this guy named Chag Kultgen. This guy knows how to review products like nothing I have ever read. Click on the link below to read all of his reviews but here is just a taste.

Amazon.com: About Chad Kultgen: Reviews

Honda CRV Transformed Into BadassMobile, November 5, 2004
Let me start off by saying Holy Crank! The Ramsey 8000-Lb. Front Mount Wich just turned my Sweet Ass Honda CRV (blue) into your basic BadassMobile.

Honestly there about a million things I could do with this winch, but the main thing I'm going to use it for is to let everybody in the parking lot at my office know that my CRV is now prepared to kick the ass of every other car on the asphault.

I will also use it to let anyone who's driving in front of me and happens to look back in their rear view mirror know that my 1998 Honda CRV (blue) could basically drag their sorry ass around town until doomsday with the new serious Badass front mount winch.

I'm also suspecting that someone might slip down into the LA River again this year, and since I live near there with my roommate Carl, I could potentially be the first one on the scene with my winch to pull the sorry (...)out of the rapids hero-style. But that would be really lucky I guess. We'll see.

In sum, this winch is Badass and now so is my 1998 Honda CRV (blue).

This Just Upsets Me

According to Gallup…

Only about a third of Americans believe that Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution is a scientific theory that has been well supported by the evidence, while just as many say that it is just one of many theories and has not been supported by the evidence. The rest say they don’t know enough to say. Forty-five percent of Americans also believe that God created human beings pretty much in their present form about 10,000 years ago. A third of Americans are biblical literalists who believe that the Bible is the actual word of God and is to be taken literally, word for word.

Is this true? A third of you people actually believe the Bible word for word? Do you not realize that it was written by man 2000 years ago? Some dudes sat down with the pen & paper of their day and wrote a story. Now you guide your life by it? I am sorry but you are fucking idiot. Don't you realize there that there were very few scientific advances 2000 years ago and man had to create stories to explain the things that they didn't understand?

Then the other half of you deutsche bags think that humans were created 10,000 years ago. So there were Neandrethals and what not cruising the planet and then one day God was like "They suck let me make somthing better." then we just showed up? I am not sure if you are dumber then those dipshits that believe the bible word for word.

Sir Richard Branson vs. Donald Trump

This isn't even a contest. You are comparing a man who has been successful in only one field (real estate) and has had to declare bankruptcy for his Atlantic City casinos twice to a man who has started over 350 companies by himself. Not to mention instead of ending his showy in a stuffy ass boardroom with a shitty has been catch phrase Branson is popping bottles of champagne having a good time on one of his kick ass AirBus jetliners. Oh, and have you seen that fucking comb over. I hope that they put that shit in the Smithsonian one day because future generations should be able to see what this dipshit is trying to pull off.

Super Size Me

Holy God! I just watched this movie today and it blew me away. I am not going to be eating any fast food for a long long time. That poor bastard gained 24 1/2 lbs in just 30 days. It is not even how gross it is to eat all that McDonalds but all of the facts that they bring up throughout the movie that just floored me. For instance the large fruit & yogurt parfait with granola has more calories then the hot fudge, caramel, or strawberry sundaes. I know kids love Mac D's who wouldn't with the clown, playgrounds and toys in the Happy Meals but we need to show this movie to the kids so that they can see what the hell this shit is going to do to their body. I don't want to discount how hard it is to be a parent butparents need to see this movie so that when they think about taking the easy route and hitting the drive through they understand what they are doing to their children.

Shit this post got way more serious than I intended it to be especially considering the amount of booze I have consumed.

First Batch of Movies

Elephant
Elephant is a tale about high school violence that unfolds on an ordinary school day, inside a typical American high school filled with the usual goings-on -- schoolwork, football, gossip and peer pressure. For each of the students we meet, high school is a different experience: stimulating, friendly, traumatic, lonely or just plain hard. Directed by indie film auteur Gus Van Sant.

Rating - 2 Star

The Station Agent
When his only friend dies, a young dwarf named Finbar McBride (Peter Dinklage) relocates to an abandoned train station in rural New Jersey, intent on living the life of a hermit. But his solitude is soon interrupted by his colorful neighbors, which include a struggling artist (Patricia Clarkson) coping with the recent death of her young son and a talkative Cuban hot dog vendor (Bobby Cannavale).

Rating - 4 Star

Grand Theft Parsons
Phil Kaufman (Johnny Knoxville, star of television's "Jackass"), road manager for music legend Gram Parsons, steals his friend's body after his death and, with the help of hearse owner Larry (Michael Shannon), drives it to Joshua Tree National Park. Living up to a pact they had made two months earlier, Phil gives Parsons the last rites he'd requested -- a cremation in his beloved desert. Marley Shelton and Christina Applegate also star.

Rating - 4 Star

Posting

So it would appear that right when we actually go some readers who started to like our blog here the four of us just quit posting material. I have spoke with the other contributors and we are going to get back on top of this thing. Give us a couple of days and we should be back in full swing. There should be some new additions in the coming week as well. We are going to be adding another contributer from southern California who will tell us about how tough it is to live 20 minutes from the beach. I have recently subscribed to NetFlix so I will start posting a brief synopsis of the movies I see and I will develop some sort of a system to rate them.

The War on Terror

I just heard on MSNBC that over 50% of Americans think that the war on Terror and the war in Iraq are related and or are the same thing. I have one thing to say to everyone of those people.

YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!!!!

Who ordered 20 men to fly planes into the World Trade Centers?
What nation were these 20 men from?
What country were all these men trained in?

The war in Iraq is all about a son who held a grudge against the man who had a plan in place to assassinate his dad.

Lets get this going

I haven't really posted much over the last week and a half. This is due to the fact that I got laid off last Tuesday and have spent most of my time either writing a resume or looking for a job. All that hasn't really left me in the mood to search the net for the weird shit I usually post about. As of tonight we are going to get some posts going again and I will try to pry myself away from the PS2 to surf the net.

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox & all their fans

Congratulations to the Bo Sox and all their fans. I am glad that you were able to put all those bitch ass Yankees fans in their place. I just wanted to put up a quote from my favorite writer on ESPN.com Bill Simmons. I think it sums up how a majority of the Red Sox fans feel after last nights game.

"Just called my Dad. Been waiting to make that call my whole life. "It happened in my lifetime!" he keeps saying. As an added bonus, the apocalypse didn't happen. "

You're Kidding Me Right?

The Puyallup school district in the state of Washington has decided to cancel its Halloween celebration where the kids get dressed up at school and have a parade. The first two reasons sited by the school district make perfect sense to me:

1. "We really want to make sure we're using all of our time in the best interest of our students."
2. Some families can't afford costumes and the celebrations thus can create embarrassment for children.

The third reason is the one that is killing me:
3. "Witches with pointy noses and things like that are not respective symbols of the Wiccan religion and so we want to be respectful of that."

Yes you read that correctly. The school district doesn't want to offend any real witches. What the fuck? What is this country coming to? I have read of a better time when we tossed the real witches off into the river to see if they would sink or swim. If these "real witches" are so offended that they want to ruin a small childs fun and chance at free candy I say they let lets round these witches up and find the nearest river.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=184701&page=1

The Genius of Jack Nicholson

This is a quote from Jack Nicholson in an upcoming biography that manages to catalogue his extensive sexual conquests:

"It's the other woman I would never lie to. You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police. Everybody else you tell the truth to."

Ingredients for a Funny Flash Cartoon

1. Lindsay Lohen's Boobs
2. A catchy song
3. Some creative bastard to put it all together.

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/lohan_song.asp

A-Rod and his manicure

This is an email that was sent into the Sports Guy at ESPN.com

name = Neal Clemens
city = Milwaukee, WI
comment = Am I the only person that knew the Sox were going to win Game 6 when they flashed to the Yankee dugout and A-Rod was checking out his manicure?

He must have been worried about a chipped nail after bitch slapping Arroyo's glove.

The Paper Ass Gasket

Can someone please explain why guys use the Paper Ass Gasket (PAG) in a clean public restroom to me? You know that little flimsy ass tissue paper thing that they have in the stalls of public restrooms. At my place of employment we have a mens restroom equipped with urinals and stalls. As far as I can tell every male in the office uses these PAG’s except for me. The restroom at the office is very well cleaned by a janitorial staff every single night so what is the point of the PAG? The slighest breeze will move the little bastard before you can pinch it between your ass and the toilet seat. If there is piss on the seat your PAG is just going to get damp and probably stick to your thighs. If you are worried about water splashing up on your ass then do you use a PAG at home? The home thing is what gets me. Even if you clean your bathroom every 3 days you are using that toilet to piss and shit in. I can guarantee you that the toilets that are only used for shitting and are cleaned every night are going to be cleaner.

This has been bugging me for a while now so if anyone can explain it to me I would appreciate it.

Apparently "Ty" isn't too tech savvy

The dipshit made 4 comments to Lexington's post. Basically I think he may have though that the "back to the post" button allowed him to change the comment instead of posting all drafts of the apology. Well, one thing apparent aside from his dipshitry is that he does appear to be sorry.

Look for a fun piece on the joys of watching running coming soon at Tasty Booze

Beck

My friend Tyler called ......

and told me that he had something to say. He wanted you to look at the comment under Lexington Steele's "Serious Allegations....." post.